One of the basic principles of my LIFE Model is the concept of “Interaction.” It is my belief that, as aging adults, we must find new ways to engage and interact more mindfully with our environment in order to:
- Escalate our own personal growth process,
- Maintain or even improve cognitive functioning,
- Become more resilient in the face of increasingly higher rates of personal and external change, and
- Improve energy levels through our relations with new people, ideas, ways of doing things, etc.
For me, the key to this type of interaction is that it must be conscious and meaningful – not just the same familiar interactions I normally have with family, friends, familiar places, and old ways of doing things. Instead, I have found my most engaging and energizing interactions are realized when I am on my personal “edge” – of my skills, capabilities, comfort zone, healthy stress levels, and so on. I have found this edge to be a place of exhilaration, intense and often wonderful emotions, animation, happiness, challenge, flow, and aliveness. Let me provide a recent example.
In my current life, I have found this edge with my work on dynamic aging. Being an introvert by nature, I am clearly on my edge when talking on this subject with other people – especially large groups of people. Last Thursday evening was my first major presentation on dynamic aging to a large audience – over 90 older adults from the community in which I live. At first I was a little nervous, but once I got rolling it became a thrilling experience – and I have been receiving wonderful feedback on the event ever since from those who were there, or even those who only heard about it from others.
Of course, in my mind I could have always done better – and it is true that I could have given more concrete examples, not covered so much material, had better eye contact, been more attentive to the needs expressed by the audience, and other things. But this isn’t the point I am trying to make. The point is that I was on my edge, interacting meaningfully with lots of other people, fulfilling the purpose in life I have been given at this point in time, helping other people understand there is a greater potential for themselves in the last third of life than our society would have them believe – and, I was having a ball!
I am still energized by the event, and can easily feel the personal growth I experienced during that hour presentation – development of myself as a public speaker, my own knowledge of the dynamic aging process, my feelings of empathy and compassion for what other people are going through in their lives, my love of life, and my ability to rise above all that is challenging in my own aging process by helping others. I am so joyous to have finally found meaning and purpose in my life that I began crying while writing the first draft of this blog entry. I can’t imagine being a luckier person than I am right now.
I believe that meaningful, purposeful interaction with others, while on your personal edge, is the key to optimal aging. However, there is a lot that goes into this new paradigm for the aging process. Finding your own meaning, purpose, and personal edge requires a little different journey for everyone. It is a highly individualized process, because by the last third of life we are each a truly unique person; each with our own capabilities, limitations, personalities, experiences, and conditioning. There is no cookie-cutter approach one can adopt – at least that I am aware of.
Instead, I believe one must experiment. Get out there. Be bold. Start interacting in new ways. Meet new people who are interesting, excited about things in their own lives, who talk about subjects they are passionate about, who don’t suck the energy out of you, and who seem more alive than yourself and others. Seek out new ideas and ways of doing things – putting your own ego and conditioning aside – and then become open to the wave of change that will envelop you when this occurs. Engage completely and mindfully with everyone and everything you do – noticing each of your own thoughts and emotions as they arise, while inquiring into their origins and the effect they are having on yourself and others.
I know this is a lot to take in, but the bottom line is to go out and do everything as mindfully, and with as much self-awareness, as you can. And, you can start doing this right now.
This type of interaction is its own reward. It creates a richness and quality to life that cannot possibly be generated if we only interact in our old, habitual, and conditioned ways. It might require a little effort at first, but I am certain it will instantly make your life more energized and interesting. And – I guarantee you – through this process true meaning and purpose will emerge. Maybe not tomorrow, or next month, or even next year – but one day. And, it will not be society’s meaning, or that of the mass consciousness – but your own truly autonomous and joyful meaning to life. The choice is yours to make: inertia or interaction. What are you waiting for?
Love, Dudley